It’s been a while since I posted here. Life became busy in some very very good ways, shortly after a holiday to Berlin!
Berlin coincided, rather accidently, with my 28th Birthday. I have a solid, close group of friends from convention-running, one of whom lives in Berlin. Fed up of always being the one to visit us, he started talking about us going over there, offering to put us up if his flatmate was away. The rest of us are scattered throughout the UK, so meeting up always involves travelling anyway, and none of us could pass up a visit to Berlin without hotel costs. It just so happened that the week that suited us all best also had my birthday in it, which meant I got to spend my birthday drinking very good beer with very good friends.
As soon as I got back it was straight back to college! Last year I started a BTEC National Diplomia in Art and Design, only for it to become rapidly clear that I wasn’t well enough at that point to be there. Dropping out was, at the time, a horrible choice to make – I knew that I was giving up routine and activity which wasn’t really going to help me get better, but I also wasn’t hitting the goals I needed to make to pass the course.
This year my college changed qualifying body from BTEC (the Business and Technology Education Council) to UAL (the University of the Arts London). Which means the course has entirely changed to a slightly stricter, but hopefully better, structure.
Going back has revealed marked changes in energy levels. I’m not as tired as I used to be. I struggle less to get up in the morning and have more energy while in. While I still have issues with time keeping, I’m not been more than an hour late (10am) so far, when I used to struggle to get anywhere before noon! There is still a bit of a difference between the workload and my energy levels – it’s a full-time course with part-time attendance – but everything feels far, far more achievable than it ever did before.
I’m also looking at UCAS and Universities this year. I’m hoping that Edinburgh College of Art will take me to do Illustration, if not, I’m looking at back up plans (one being my current college’s HNC/HND in Illustration).
In addition, I’m up for Class Representative! This would involve representing my class at meetings every two months, to voice their concerns and issues. I was a little wary about putting myself forward for this after last year, but after I did, a few members of my class approached me to say they’d hoped I would do that and would very much like me to represent them. It would hopefully also amount to something that will help with UCAS applications. Voting should be during my tutorial next week.
After the struggle I faced when it came to deciding to leave the course and try again next year, the fight I’ve had over medications, and basically what amounted to a really, really shitty year, it feels exhilarating to find myself on firm ground once again. It also brings to mind something my sister once said to me – what’s for you won’t pass you by. It felt last year like things were passing me by – my friends, my family, my life. But reaching the other side just revealed that life just had other intentions for that period, and gave me a few gifts along the way to help me on my journey. If I continue to work hard, remain passionate and dedicated, this might still prove to be what is for me.
The biggest news of all, though, is that my partner moved in not long after I started my course. This involved him moving here from Finland, where he’s been finishing up his degree in Hospitality Management. It’s weird having him in the same space as me after being long distance for a year, but also nice. There has been issues – there always is, when suddenly you’re in a confined space together – but nothing so far I don’t think we can’t get over.